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Roget’s
Thesaurus...
Roget’s
Thesaurus,
I’ve
heard it said,
Is
really useful,
To
take to bed.
For
really long words,
Can
be found on its pages,
Which
means you’ll keep reading,
For
ages and ages.
And
when you get tired,
And
lay down in bed,
You’ll
know an alternative
For
“Pain in the head”.
©
1998 Philip G. Bell
Izzy
Wizzy Lets get Dizzy...
My
My said the Fly
As
it flew round and round
I
think I’ll get dizzy
And
spin to the ground.
©
1998 Philip G. Bell
The
Great Peolopherous
The
Great Peolopherous
is
exceedingly rare,
it
seldom appears,
and
it never is there
When
you try to convince
All
the men of renown,
That
it really exists
And
it lives in the town.
After
drinks at the Tavern
And
leaving alone
I
noticed it twice
Escorting
me home.
©
1998 Philip G. Bell
Silly
Burger!
I’m
sorry to trouble you,
But
is this your W,
I
found upon the floor?
Its
extremely mellow,
A
bright shade of yellow,
It
was just outside the door.
No,
indeed it cannot be,
But
I wish that you could see,
A
letter for our Ronald.
We
need it though,
For
us to show,
Our
restaurant isn’t cDonald.
©
1999 Philip G. Bell
Excuse!
I
leapt from the tooth of a Tiger
Into
the mouth of a Great White
And
there, I slept, all night
Until
the early dawn did break
Stretching
upon my mattress tongue
I
rose upon an Albatross into blue skies
Passing
on route through clouds of butterflies
That
tickled my nose making me sneeze
And
as I sneezed I slipped and fell
And
slid right down a Giraffe’s neck
And
wondered to myself, what the heck
Am
I doing here upon it’s back
And
so I climbed down to the ground
But
fell inconveniently into an open hole
Left
by an ant, God bless it’s soul
My
fall was broken by piles of socks
Piles
of socks? I admit I wondered!
But
in my rush to move right on, I hurried off
The
cold dark tunnel had induced a cough
No
time to wait for I’ll be late
And
so you see, my reason Sir
It’s
why, and to be honest upon this date
I
have to admit, my reason, for being late
Please
forgive, it’s just this once.
©
2000 Philip G. Bell
Flutterbies
I’ve
flutterbies in my mutty
I’m
as vernous as can be
For
dotays the tay that we knall show
Hot
is whappening for me
I’ve
flutterbies in my mutty
My
mutty is downside up
I’ll
have to cake a mup of tea
And
cink it in a drup
©
2000 Philip G. Bell
Short
but Profound
Parthenon?
A
Masterpiece of Ancient Greece?
Bacon
and Eggs?
A
Masterpiece of Modern Grease?
©
2000 Philip G. Bell
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Muddled
Pets
I
had a little groundhog
I
kept it up a tree
It
flew around the garden
‘Til
it was time for tea
I
also had an eagle
And
kept it underground
It
burrowed round the garden
Until
its sock it found
I
thought I’d get a tiger
But
hesitated “um!”
I
really don’t know where to fit
A
big aquarium
©
1999 Philip G. Bell
Meow
Crackow...
I
had a cat,
I
don’t know how,
It
went woof woof,
and
not meow.
It
seems confused,
This
dog, my cat.
I’ll
hop on my perch,
And
ponder that.
©
1998 Philip G. Bell
Danger-
Quicksand!
Last
night, I thought that I would write
Something
terribly profound.
I
thought and thought throughout the night
But
never gained any ground
My
mind went into a dark, dark place
As
I struggled to find the light
Is
there no hope for the human race?
Are
we to give up the fight?
But
at last I found the light
Oh
reader, oh so gullible.
You
read this far, and now my plight,
That
this verse is profoundly terrible.
©
2000 Philip G. Bell
Totally
Wordless
I
invented merriosity,
It
gave me such a buzz,
I
was fired with tempocrity,
That
made my hair a fuzz.
My
intellectual mentalism
Was
raging deep within,
Its
doctrine caused a schism,
Not
helped by too much gin.
Fire
my wizzikins,
Old
Melantile.
Fry
some skins
And
bide a while.
Rub
my fevered brow,
Oh
lass so sweet.
Then
wonder how
You’ll
sooth my feet
©
1999 Philip G. Bell
Baboon
Moon
The
old baboon
Said
to the moon
I
like your cheesy grin
But
since last night
I’ve
had a fright
You’re
getting terribly thin
The
baboons mate
clipped
his pate
And
gave his head a squeeze
The
reason at least
Is
that mice have a feast
On
all of that cheddary cheese.
©
2000 Philip G. Bell
Land
of Hilk and Money
In
the land of the honeyglow possums
Where
the trees are all covered in glue
And
the grass is a strange kind of purple
And
the soles of your feet turn dark blue
Climb
to the top of Mount Lowdown
And
rest in the valley that’s there
Till
you’re tired as ever you will be
Then
wrestle the Candytuft Bear
Now
return to the peak at the bottom
Where
the water runs up to the top
And
gather an armful of cornseeds
And
cool them until they go pop
When
the day it is just beginning
And
its time to get into bed
Take
a cold cup of cocoa
And
tip it right over your head
©
2000 Philip G. Bell
Half
Baked
Did
you see the pie in the sky?
Did
you see it? Fly so high?
And
then with a flourish,
Empty
itself from its dish.
Did
you see the custard in the lake?
Did
you see it? Did it bake?
In
the heat of the noon moon,
And
curdle all too soon.
Did
you see the chocolate source?
Did
you see it? So much force?
Flowing
over the sun,
Global
chocolate bun.
Did
you see this crazy verse?
Did
you see it? Can’t get much worse?
Well
maybe so, or maybe not,
It’s
all I have, It’s all I’ve got.
©
1999 Philip G. Bell
Flush
the Blues away!
Once
upon a time
There
was discord in my life
Then
I pulled discord
And
flushed away the blues
©
2000 Philip G. Bell
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